Catherine Pass August 21, 2010

Last Summer Christina orchestrated a hike from the Albion Basin at Alta over Catherine Pass to the main Brighton parking lot. Our small group included her, mom, dad, and me. We were also very happy to have Mignon and Gary join us. It was a beautiful hike at a beautiful time of year. Below are links to the pictures both in album and slide show formats. Enjoy, and if you ever get a chance, make sure to get yourself up there sometime!

Catherine Pass (Alta to Brighton)

Happy Birthday, Grandpa!

Ever since Grandpa passed away, I’ve been enjoying reliving so many memories of him. During the following couple of weeks after he died, it seemed like each day I came up with 100 more. I’ve been wanting to write this post for some time, but it’s been hard to make myself do so. I guess I just haven’t felt quite ready to accept that Grandpa is gone (for now), and maybe writing this forces me to accept that reality. But, today is Grandpa’s 96th birthday, and it feels like a perfect time to write this post and pay tribute to him by sharing just a few of the many hundreds of memories that have been floating in my head for the past few months. As a preface to this blog post, I refer you to Erin’s and Jill’s blog posts about Grandpa, which were so amazing to read, along with my earlier posts called On Death (Tues, June 16, 2009) and Sleepover at Grandma and Grandpa’s House! (Mon, Aug 24, 2009).

When I think of Grandpa, one of the first images that comes to mind is Grandpa ice-skating. He often spoke of his love of ice-skating on Redmond Lake. I’ve visited Redmond Lake several times, and I can remember standing by the lake on a late warm summer’s day, imagining teen-age Grandpa ice-skating like a pro. Fortunately, I also got to see this pro-skating first hand at the cabin many times. This picture was taken in December 1987 at the cabin when he was 72. To this day, I can still see Grandpa gracefully gliding along the pond and canal, doing turns, and then coming to a perfect skidding stop. It was so awesome! After Grandpa stopped skating, there were many times when I would be on the pond and canal almost aching for those old days when he would come skate with us, but also feeling so grateful for the memories of those days. I can only hope that I’ll still be skating well into my 80s some day.

Another fun memory I have of Grandpa was in late June 1992, the week of John’s farewell and possibly even the night before. We were all out on our back patio on a beautiful summer’s night. At some point in the evening, someone brought out our old-school jumprope, and we started taking turns jumping. I don't know if the grandparents were already there or had just arrived as we were jumproping, but Grandpa decided he wanted to join in the fun, so at nearly 77 years old, Grandpa jumped right in and didn’t miss a beat! I'm so glad that dad captured this moment. I don’t think I have laughed so much. It was amazing!

In December 2001, Libby Aagard’s mother, Ruth Enke, passed away. Shortly before she died, the Aagards called Grandpa to come give her a blessing to release her from this life. He was also asked to speak at her funeral. A few days before her funeral, I went over to visit the grandparents. Grandpa was in his study working on his talk and so we started talking about our philosophies of death. Sort of a weird subject to be discussing with someone who was within less than 10 years of dying, but the weirdness quickly passed, and it became kind of a spiritual experience. Grandpa told me about his experience with Ruth during those last few hours. He said that she started having a lot of serious questions about life after death and whether she really believed everything she was taught. Before he gave her the blessing, in response to her growing fears about dying, Grandpa shared with her these beautiful and unforgettable words: “I think death is a sweet experience of exploration and new discovery.” After he told me that, I just stared into his eyes, tearing up wondering what I did right to deserve such an amazing grandfather. He had no idea what a gift he gave me by sharing that experience, but now, anytime I feel sad about him or anyone dying, I repeat to myself those comforting words.

In May 2006, I had a laparascopic surgery, which, by today’s standards, was pretty much a run-of-the-mill surgery. I was mostly just really tired and in some pain as my body was trying to get rid of the carbon dioxide gas that was necessary for the doctors to perform this procedure. The pain from the gas mostly affects your shoulder and upper back area and can be as painful as any disc flare-up you’ve ever had. It comes and goes, but when it’s there, it’s kind of excruciating. Following the surgery, mom took me down to Orem to spend a few nights there. Once we got home, I was feeling well enough for a few minutes to walk around. I remember standing in front of the grandparents’ house talking to them along with mom and Pat Shaw. The gas pains started up again, so I announced that I needed to go lie down. Grandpa insisted that I come rest in their house and escorted me to his special chair. He asked if I would like something to drink. I told him that the doctors recommended that I drink soda to help the gas get out of my system, so Grandpa promptly disappeared for awhile. I had no idea what he was doing, but at this point, all I cared about was trying to find some comfortable position while the gas pains were moving around my upper back. Maybe 15 minutes later, Grandpa re-appeared with a tray in hand, two different soda cans opened, each with straws prepared for my sipping. I realized then that he had been down in the basement carefully and thoughtfully preparing these sodas, not sure of which I would prefer, so he brought them both. He made sure that the tray was set where I could reach it, and then he quietly exited the room, leaving me for a few hours while I got some much needed rest. At 90 years old, he was starting to get used to everyone doing everything for him and telling him to not do this or that, but this time he got to be the one doing something for someone else, and for his 29 year old granddaughter, no less! You could just see the joy and delight and excitement in his face as he waited on me that afternoon. Selfless to the end.

The last memory I want to share was from sometime in the last couple of years. Grandpa’s memory was at the stage where names no longer stuck with him and he began to need reminders of who his own family was. By this time, I was kind of used to him not remembering my name, but for him to need reminders that I was his granddaughter was a new thing and it definitely upset me a bit. So on this one particular Friday night (maybe in 2009?), I slept over at the grandparents’ house. I was planning to make an early escape Saturday morning, but you know, the best laid plans.... So I ended up sleeping in and joining Grandma and Grandpa for breakfast. While Grandma was preparing oatmeal and toast, Grandpa and I sat by the island talking. I was pretty sure that Grandpa knew I was someone in the family, but I wasn’t so sure he knew exactly what our relationship was. Grandma may have told him who I was sometime that morning, but not while I was present. Grandma finished breakfast and then asked Grandpa to bless the food. During his prayer, he said the usual things about gratitude for the beautiful day, for the gospel, for the food, and then he said, “And we’re grateful that our granddaughter could be with us today.” I somehow managed to not start sobbing right then and there, but I couldn't control the tears. Thank goodness his prayer went on a bit longer so that I could collect myself before everyone opened their eyes again. Even as I’m writing this I’m sitting here crying all over again. That may have been the last time he really consciously knew who I was. I’m so grateful for that memory, and probably hold on to that one more than any other.

Grandpa, I love you and miss you. I’m so grateful that circumstances made it possible for you to be a part of almost every day of my life. I hope you are having a happy birthday today with your mama and other family members. Maybe they'll even be up for singing you the long song! :)

Much love til we meet again,
Susannah

Mesa Verde July 17, 2010

Still continuing my goal of catching up on photos from last year! :)

On their way back to Texas after Pear and Travis' wedding, D&K and kids wanted to stop by Mesa Verde and Chaco Canyon. Mom and Dad and I decided to join them for the Mesa Verde part of the trip. This was my first time back to the park in 26 years, and it was as fun as ever! Below are links to the pics in album and slideshow formats.

Mesa Verde

Erin and Travis Reception Pics - Better late than never!

I have somewhat recently decided to stop posting pictures on Facebook and have instead opted for posting Picasa albums on my blog from now on. I've finally figured out how to do this, thanks to lots of help from Amanda and Erin, and also Nate, who sat with me over Thanksgiving and helped me put together the following album of Pear and Travis. Hopefully I'll get better and faster at this and can finally post all of my albums from the past year. Until then, please enjoy this album that is already more than a year overdue, but still really fun!

Erin and Travis Wedding Reception

34

March 19, 1977 was a long time ago. I'm afraid to grow old, but I like the idea that with each year's unique experiences, challenges, triumphs, and tragedies, maybe I'm a little more grown up and a bit wiser each year. So, at best, I'd say I'm conflicted about this aging business. But rather than stray into these boring philosophical conversations with myself (ample opportunity for that in future posts), how about some fun trivial pursuit instead?

On this day in history*: March 19
American Revolution: Thomas McKean is born, 1734
Literary: Balzac botches a publicity stunt, 1842
Old West: Artist Charlie Russell born, 1864
Civil War: Battle of Bentonville, North Carolina, 1865
World War I: First U.S. air-combat mission begins, 1916
General Interest: Nevada legalizes gambling, 1931
World War II: General Fromm executed for plot against Hitler, 1945
Cold War: East Germany approves new constitution, 1949
Hollywood: First Academy Awards telecast on NBC, 1953
Hollywood: DeMille wins Oscar, 1953
Music: Elvis Presley puts a down payment on Graceland, 1957
Sports: Texas Western defeats Kentucky in NCAA finals, 1966
Vietnam War: Seoul agrees to send additional troops, 1966
Vietnam War: National emergency declared in Cambodia, 1970
Disaster: Peruvian town wiped out, 1971
Miracle: Susannah Thomas born in Provo, Utah, 1977
Crime: Bodies found in Yosemite serial killer case, 1999
Presidential: Bush announces the launch of Operation Iraqi Freedom, 2003
Automotive: Maverick auto exec John DeLorean dies, 2005
*stolen from the History Channel at history.com

The meaning of 34**
34 (thirty-four) is the natural number following 33 and preceding 35.

In mathematics
34 is the ninth distinct semiprime and has four divisors including unity and itself. Its neighbors, 33 and 35 also are distinct semiprimes having four divisors each, and 34 is the smallest number to be surrounded by numbers with the same number of divisors as it has. It is also in the first cluster of three distinct semiprimes, being within; 33,34,35, the next such cluster of semiprimes is; 85,86,87.

It is the ninth Fibonacci number and a companion Pell number. Since it is an odd-indexed Fibonacci number, 34 is a Markov number, appearing in solutions with other Fibonacci numbers, such as (1, 13, 34), (1, 34, 89), etc.

This number is the magic constant of a 4 by 4 normal magic square


Thirty-four is a heptagonal number

It has the aliquot sum, 20, in the following descending sequence 34,20,22,14,10,8,7,1. and it is the 6th composite member of the 7-aliquot tree.

There is no answer to the equation ?(x) = 34, making 34 a nontotient. Nor is there an answer to the equation x - ?(x) = 34, making 34 a noncototient.

In science
The atomic number of selenium

Messier object M34, a magnitude 6.0 open cluster in the constellation Perseus

The New General Catalogue object NGC 34, a peculiar galaxy in the constellation Cetus

The Saros number of the solar eclipse series which began on 1917 BC August and ended on 384 BC February. The duration of Saros series 34 was 1532.5 years, and it contained 86 solar eclipses. The Saros number of the lunar eclipse series which began on 1633 BC May and ended on 335 BC June. The duration of Saros series 34 was 1298.1 years, and it contained 73 lunar eclipses.

In sports
In baseball:
The number has been retired by the following teams:
The Minnesota Twins in honor of Kirby Puckett.
The Houston Astros and Texas Rangers in honor of Nolan Ryan.
The Oakland Athletics and Milwaukee Brewers in honor of Rollie Fingers.

In basketball:
The number retired by the Houston Rockets in honor of its most famous wearer, Hakeem Olajuwon.

In American football:
The number retired by the Chicago Bears in honor of Walter Payton.
The number retired by the Houston Oilers/Tennessee Titans in honor of Earl Campbell.

In other fields
The traffic code of Istanbul, Turkey

Rule 34 of the Internet, a meme which states that "If it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions."

Rule 34, a novel by Charles Stross due July 2011[3]

"#34", a song by the Dave Matthews Band

34 Skidoo, the 1970s magic square puzzle

In the title of the 1947 movie Miracle on 34th Street, remade in 1994

The number of the French department Hérault

+34 is the code for international direct-dial phone calls to Spain

The lucky number of Victor Pelevin's protagonist Stepan Mikhailov in the novel Numbers, published as part of DTT(NN) [Dialectics in Times of Transition (from Nowhere into Nothing)]

Request for production, Rule 34 of the U.S. Federal Rules of Civil Procedure.

Historical years 34 A.D., 34 B.C., 1934, 2034, etc.

ME! (The more I say it, the more I'll get used to it :) )
**Stolen from Wikipedia at wikipedia.org

A Christmas Greeting From Me to You!

Dear Family and Friends,

Merry Christmas!

I love Christmas time. It is so magical and beautiful. As Kermit “Bob Cratchit” sings in The Muppet Christmas Carol, “The world is at her best, you know, when people love and care.” I have seen and felt much love and care this year, and I have seen how love can change lives for the better.

The many challenges and experiences I have had throughout this year, including heartbreak from a failed relationship, the sudden passing of a dear friend, intense service opportunities as the Relief Society president of my LDS ward, and most recently two ankle surgeries, have all brought many emotional and physical ups and downs, but in the end, I feel so blessed to be alive; to be in the care of great doctors and therapists who help me improve each day; to know that when I heal from the emotional and physical wounds I’ll be better than ever; and especially to be surrounded by my wonderful family and friends who truly are “people who love and care” and have supported and helped me with EVERYTHING. I am also especially grateful at this Christmas time for the birth of Jesus Christ and His atonement that makes everything we do possible.

One of my all time favorite stories is Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol.” Following a harrowing night of being haunted by the ghosts of his past, present, and future, Ebenezer Scrooge awakens to a beautiful Christmas morning, a changed man who “became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough, in the good old world. . . . [I]t was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every One!”

Love and peace,
Susannah

Emily

I have been so remiss in posting blogs that I'm sure some of my kind blog followers think I have abandoned the blog world, but that is not so. As you probably gathered from my last post, my life got a little bit busy in March. Consequently, I've barely had time to read others' blogs (which I've thoroughly enjoyed when I do read them), and I check Facebook maybe once a week if I'm lucky. Despite my lack of writing, I have this long list of ideas I want to share, including things that are more light-hearted compared to my last few posts, but I can't seem to find the time. The irony is that with all my plans of "great" and humorous things to write, today's post is on the serious side again (sorry!) – though NOT sad! – and is a bit spontaneous, having been prompted by a dream I had last night about my friend Emily Roosevelt. Emily died 2 months ago this coming Sunday at age 40 following complications after her heart transplant from June 2008.

So in my dream, I was at work as usual. It was probably mid-day, sometime after lunch on a day exactly like it is right now. A few of us were talking just outside my office in our foyer, as we often do, when Emily came walking in through the back door with papers in her hand and headed into her office, which is right next to mine. We all kind of chatted with her a bit, she finished what she was doing, and we said good-bye (for the time being, as if we knew we'd see her again). The interesting thing about all this was that while she was there at the office in flesh and bones, we were all aware she was in fact visiting us from beyond the grave, so to speak, and it was just super cool to see her. At first I think I kind of knew I was dreaming, but I managed to easily convince myself that this couldn't possibly be a dream because it was so real and so not weird at all. Sometimes in dreams things are a little distorted to the point that you know it's not real. Not this time. It was real. Until I woke up.

I don't think I was anywhere near consciously thinking about Em when I went to bed last night, but something triggered this dream. As I've gone through the day today I don't feel haunted or anything, but it's more of a feeling of comfort, that she really is keeping herself happily busy doing great things in the afterlife. And I guess a small part of me kind of expects that she'll just show up today, like she did in my dream. :)

Emily was my colleague from the past 7 years, but more importantly one of my greatest friends for the past 9 years. Because this has been really hard for me to deal with or understand, I've refrained from writing (or maybe have just been unable to write) about her on the blog, but after seeing her in my dream last night, I now feel like I want to share a small tribute to her that I wrote to her family the week after she died:


I first met Emily in January 2001 when I was a 2nd year law student interning in the Solicitor’s Office (where I currently work). About mid-way through my internship I was assigned to do a project for her. It felt like we became instant friends. As my internship was coming to a close in April 2001, she was so concerned that I have a proper farewell lunch, so she helped me choose a good restaurant and made sure every single person in the office could make it to the lunch. I think everyone did! And as of this writing, it still goes down in my book as one of the best most successful intern lunches we’ve ever had, wholly thanks to Em’s desire to make it a special occasion for me.

The next time I saw Emily was in January 2003 when I came to interview for my current job. Em was one of five people interviewing me that day. I think she was the first person I talked to. She invited me into her office, gave me a big hug and asked me to tell her everything that had been going on in my life since we last saw each other nearly 2 years earlier. It was like we just picked up where we left off, and so we spent the next 30-40 minutes just talking about our lives and catching up. I don’t think we really talked about the job at all! If I had been nervous at all about my interviews that day, by the time I finished with Em, I was completely relaxed. It was definitely the best interview ever!

I was hired in June 2003, and of course, Em was all over making sure I had a proper welcoming lunch. Once again, she set up the place and time, and printed the announcement on our bulletin board. It was a wonderful time and one I’ll never forget as I had a great opportunity to get re-acquainted with everyone.

In June 2004, about 8 months after Mason (her 1st son that she adopted) was born, Em asked if I could come babysit for a few hours. It was there that I became acquainted with her home and met her dog Maggie for the first time. I was back at the house in August 2004 to stay with Maggie for a few days. And thus began my 2nd career as Maggie’s sitter! (The wintry picture from my last post was taken from the balcony of her house the last time I dogsat for her.) But the best consequence of all was that I had a chance to get to know Emily and her family even better during all this time. I enjoyed a number of visits to the house to just hang out and visit and sometimes have dinner, and the couple of office parties we had at her house were seriously some of the best parties we had! There was also the occasional movie or restaurant dinner or house party or park party with friends, which were all super fun. It seemed very clear that she wanted all of her friends to be friends with each other, so she was always certain to introduce everyone. Among the visits I had with her and her family, two of my favorite visits were first, when she was on maternity leave after Liam (her 2nd son that she adopted) was born I came up one night and we all Thai food together, and second, the visit I had with her a few weeks after she came home from her heart transplant surgery. And then there were the many phone calls and emails. She was always so willing to talk and enjoyed having the company. One of my most vivid memories of Em was during the time when Liam was about to be born and the stress she and her husband were experiencing not knowing for sure if Liam would be a part of their family or not because the birth mom was changing her mind. As hard as that was, Em was SO excited, and even with the lingering doubts was so calm and collected and willing to talk about it. We had a lot of fun exchanging ideas for names. Liam was definitely my favorite name of the ones we discussed, so I was really happy when she chose that name. Emily talked about the boys all the time. She missed them a lot during the day and was so excited for any phone calls from the boys. She was a wonderful example of the most loving mother–an example I hope to emulate someday.

Emily was like a surrogate sister to me in so many ways. She is between Bec's and Dave's ages and would speak to me in very similar ways that Bec speaks to me. With Bec in Canada and the Amanda, Christina, and Erin living in China, Boston, and Brazil a few years ago, Emily kind of became my “fifth sister” and thus had the great “privilege” of listening to me talk about EVERYTHING going on in my life from family, to religion, to boys, to work, to health issues. You name it, we talked about it. When I was diagnosed with Endometriosis in 2006, something that Em had also been dealing with for many years. I was concerned and a bit scared about what I was facing, but sure enough, she was willing to sit down and talk to me about everything, including helping me better understand the surgery I was to have at that time. It was a great thing to share and helped put me at ease in more ways than she could know. In mid-2009 I had some further problems related to this condition that scared me a little bit again. Because Em had been through so much with her heart transplant and the attendant effects from that, I didn’t want to burden her with my problems, but it eventually all came out and as she always had before, she completely listened and helped me understand everything. She was so open and loving and willing to talk. And, in turn, she opened up a lot to me and shared many things going on in her life, as well. We shared a wall between our offices, so it was easy to just head out my door and be immediately in her office. She always validated every single concern or fear I had no matter how inconsequential or silly it may have been, and she offered her perspectives in such a direct but loving way. This is a rare gift and one that I am and will be forever grateful for.

Love you, Em!

Emily was also a very faithful blogger, so if you want to see more about her and all the many challenges she endured, please go to http://www.heart2heart4emily.blogspot.com/.