In the Strength of the Lord

Last Sunday (June 7, 2009) we had a really amazing Relief Society lesson that was centered around Elder Bednar's talk on the enabling power of the Atonement. We first discussed what makes up the journey of life. Our list included such things as challenges, health, service, baptism, growth, sharing the gospel, learning, experience, love, joy, endurance, change (bad, better, best). Someone suggested we throw in negative aspects, too, but I declined to include those on my list. I think challenges, changes, endurance, and growth pretty much sum it all up. And in any event, we've been told that "Men are that they might have joy." (2 Nephi 2:25)

We then discussed what grace is. From the Bible Dictionary we learn that grace is a divine means of help or strength. (BD 697) The Atonement not only provides a way for us to be redeemed from past decisions and actions, but it is also the source of the grace of God to give us strength to carry on into the future and to continually become perfect. As Elder Bednar said, "We become agents to act rather than objects to be acted on."

We finally discussed illustrations and implications of grace. The first scriptural example given was Alma 58:10-11 (discussing the sons of the people of Ammon's struggles against the Lamanites) --

10 Therefore we did pour out our souls in prayer to God, that he would strengthen us and deliver us out of the hands of our enemies, yea, and also give us strength that we might retain our cities, and our lands, and our possessions, for the support of our people.
11 Yea, and it came to pass that the Lord our God did visit us with assurances that he would deliver us; yea, insomuch that he did speak peace to our souls, and did grant unto us great faith, and did cause us that we should hope for our deliverance in him.

The next scripture we read was from 1 Nephi 7:17 (discussing Nephi's ongoing persecution by Laman and Lemuel) --

17 But it came to pass that I prayed unto the Lord, saying: O Lord, according to my faith which is in thee, wilt thou deliver me from the hands of my brethren; yea, even give me strength that I may burst these bands with which I am bound.

Our next example was that of the Brother of Jared (see Ether) and the incredible amount of strength it would have taken for him to have faith in and trust the Lord that the he (brother of Jared) could work with the Lord to solve the problem of lighting the boats.

Finally, I suggested the final scripture which, it turns out, was also our instructor's example she was going to share, found in Mosiah 24:14-15 (discussing the persecution of Alma and his people by Amulon) --

14 And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.
15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.

The greatest lesson for me in all this was the reminder that the Lord wants us to go through the journey of life and experience the good and bad. He knows that we are going to have struggles and burdens, and, no surprise, He's not necessarily going to feel inclined to remove those, BUT, through his grace He strengthens us so that we can bear our burdens with greater ease. That is one of the most beautiful saving graces of God we could ever seek is to be strengthened to bear our burdens.

In January 1998 I left home to fulfill a 4 month internship in Washington, DC. Pretty much the entire family, except me, got the flu that Christmas. But alas, I was not so lucky. The evening I departed on a red-eye for DC I was coming down fast and miserably with the classic symptoms of a cold (which over the next two months manifested itself as a really bad flu and eventually culminated in a violent ear infection). Following my arrival in Baltimore, I had to get all my baggage (3 very full and awkward duffel bags) and catch the commuter train to Union Station. I'd been awake for over 24 hours and sick as a dog, so by the time I got to the train platform I felt almost completely drained of energy. And then I discovered that I was on the wrong side of the tracks. Changing platforms meant going up about 30 stairs, over to the other side and back down again. I nearly cried aloud because I didn't think I had it in me to haul my luggage to the other side. I prayed so hard that I would be able to make the move. I did it, but instead of feeling stronger, I felt weaker and weaker. There were others on the platform watching me and I had nothing but very dark thoughts about how unkind everyone was for not helping me when I was clearly having a really hard time. The train arrived and after a few minutes of hefting my luggage onto the racks, I completely collapsed in my seat in utter exhaustion and went catatonic for the next hour. Upon arrival at Union Station, the doors opened and I saw that unlike the other platforms where the train floor was flush with the platform, here we had to go down 4 steep steps. Tears welled up in my eyes and I fell back into my seat determined to stay on that train forever because I didn't have anything left in me; not even enough to just simply shove 3 bags off the train. Suddenly a man showed up and without so much as asking but rather acknowledging that I could use some help grabbed my luggage, escorted me to the taxi and, even though I learned that he was in a great hurry, he made sure I was on my way before he disappeared. I'm sure I uttered some words of gratitude to him at some point, but I never really thanked him before he ran off to catch his next connection. I realized even then that this man was probably an answer to my prayers to some extent, but in my weakened state, I actually felt angry at the Lord for not helping me get stronger so that I could help myself. I really felt abandoned and that my prayers weren't important enough to answer. Over the next few months, I did finally regain my health, but this experience continued to gnaw at me. Four months later, near my departure time, Mom and Dad paid me a visit and so I sent home quite a bit of luggage with them so that my load would be much lighter for my journey home. On my day of departure, I packed up the last of my belongings and hauled my things down to the taxi. I was genuinely shocked to find that even though I was now carrying half the load I had brought, it was actually much more awkward and difficult for me than it had been the day I arrived. And then I just felt so much sorrow for harboring those angry feelings as I realized that the Lord had indeed strengthened me that day. I just never recognized it.

I've been thinking a lot about my family. We are all facing various degrees of challenges and burdens, and I hope and pray that whatever each of us feels, we'll know that the Lord is strengthening us. We may feel like we're getting weaker and weaker, but as I learned from my experience in DC, even though the Lord may not give us 100% of the strength we desire, He will always give us enough to bear our burdens.

My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Cor. 12:9)