The Grateful List

This morning I saw an AP news article regarding gratitude which I was thought was very appropriate. You can read it here. Here are a couple of excerpts:

Academics have long theorized that expressions of thanks promote health and happiness and give optimism and energy to the downtrodden. Now, the study of gratitude has become a surprisingly burgeoning field, and research indicates being thankful might help people actually feel better. There's a catch, however: You have to say thanks more than just once a year.

Brenda Shoshanna, a New York psychologist, agreed: "You can't be depressed and grateful at the same time," said Shoshanna, the author of 365 Ways to Give Thanks: One for Every Day of the Year. "It makes a person physically, mentally, in every way healthier."

I am reminded of an experience I had a few years ago that while not scientific evidence, definitely provides anecdotal support for this study. In October of 2004 I had one particularly busy day. I had a long morning meeting to attend in the southern part of the valley, and then had to hurry back to the office to grab a few things and head to the airport for a midday flight to Durango, Colorado. Because I’m not cool enough, I don’t have a parking space at our office. However, given that I was planning to run in and out in just a couple of minutes, I went into the garage and pulled into an empty space near the elevators. It was a tight fit with a car on one side and a big cement support pillar on the other, but this was the Nissan Altima, so with a little maneuvering I was able to insert myself into the cozy space. So with very little, if any, time to spare, I ran up to my office and then back to the car. As I was backing out of the parking space, it suddenly occurred to me that it seemed too easy to get out of this space compared to how difficult it was to get in, and then CRUNCH!!! I slammed the passenger side front fender into the cement support pillar. After a few seconds of being too stunned to move or even believe that what just happened really happened. I jumped out of the car and to my chagrin saw that it was true – the fender was completely crunched up, and I had clearly graffiti-ed the pillar with my maroon car paint. In a matter-of-fact manner I drove out of the garage and parked at a parking meter on the road just outside our building. I then got out, sat on the curb and called dad. As much as I really wanted to cry, I somehow maintained my composure. Dad was so great. First, he immediately offered to come up and take me to the airport even though it would be extremely inconvenient to his plans for the day. I sort of brushed that aside as I really wanted to discuss the fact that I was about to sell the car back to him and now I had crashed it. Dad tried to persuade me to not worry about it, but that was a fruitless effort. After discussing where I might get the fender fixed, I assured him once again, against his continuing protests, that I would take of it. Now back to the airport problem, we agreed that I would drive home, avoiding as many turns as possible – with every turn the right front wheel scraped against the dented fender – and check with a shuttle service to see if they could come at the last minute. As it turned out, I was able to safely maneuver the car home and was successful in scheduling a shuttle ride to the airport. I made it to my flight with about 45 minutes to spare and eventually made it to my hotel in Durango about 9pm that night.

Between the time I ran up to my office that afternoon to the time I finally checked into my hotel room I’d hardly had any time to think or even breathe – it was such a whirlwind of activity and emotion and frustration. I was convinced that as soon as I got settled into my room and in my PJs that I’d just totally start crying because I was still quite mentally agitated. As much as I really wanted to, I still couldn’t cry, so I decided to do a little yoga in hopes of calming myself. While in the corpse pose, I realized that as upsetting as the afternoon had been, I was really blessed. I immediately jumped up, grabbed the hotel notepad and scribbled what would become Susannah’s inaugural “Grateful List.” As I reviewed the day I came up with 20 or 30 things to be grateful for.

A sampling of the things I was grateful for that night:
I made it safely to and from my earlier meetings that morning
The car I crashed was my own and not a government car
I didn’t hurt anybody
I wasn’t hurt
I was able to drive home
I had the best dad in the world who was so understanding and so willing to do everything possible to ease my pain
I had enough money to make the repairs
I was able to get a shuttle to the airport
I made all my connections and made it safely to Durango
I drove the 25 miles from the airport to my hotel without incident
I got to stay in the DoubleTree Hotel (my favorite)
I got the famous DoubleTree warm chocolate cookie from the hotel at check-in
I had a comfortable room and bed
I got to do some yoga

The most amazing and unexpected thing happened! All the agitation, frustration, or sadness I felt that afternoon and evening was completely gone. I was in perfect state of peace and calmness. I carried that list around with me for a few years as a reminder of what I learned that night. Since then, I’ve had several opportunities to create other “Grateful Lists,” each with the same results.

And so, on this Thanksgiving Day as we remember the many things we’re grateful for, my hope is that we will remember these things every day–not just today–and on those especially challenging days that we can remember to create our own “Grateful List.” It is the perfect weapon against any and all negativity and will change your life!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!