Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Ordinary Miracles


It's not that unusual
When everything is beautiful
It's just another ordinary miracle today

The sky knows when it's time to snow
Don't need to teach a seed to grow
It's just another ordinary miracle today

Life is like a gift they say
Wrapped up for you every day
Open up and find a way
To give some of your own love

Isn't it remarkable?
Like every time a raindrop falls
It's just another ordinary miracle today

Birds in winter have their fling
They always make it home in spring
It's just another ordinary miracle today

When you wake up everyday
Please don't throw your dreams away
Hold them close to your heart
Cause we are all a part of the ordinary miracle

Ordinary miracle
Do you want to see a miracle?

It seems so exceptional
The things just work out after all
It's just another ordinary miracle today

The sun comes up and shines so bright
And disappears again at night
It's just another ordinary miracle today

It's just another ordinary miracle today

I discovered this song “Ordinary Miracle” by Sarah McLachlan when my sister Amanda included it on a music mix she made for one of our recent sisters reunions. It is one of those songs that just speaks to my soul, like discovering a new friend that I’ve actually known forever. Music can be so magical like that. As I’ve played and replayed this song over the last couple of years, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what it is that speaks to me, and I think I’ve partially discovered the answer:

In 2002 I attended BYU’s Education Week for the first time. While I enjoyed it quite a lot, I found myself becoming a little irritated with how it seemed like every speaker’s life was so perfect. They were constantly receiving revelation, having these amazing experiences to draw from, and just really living outside of an ordinary life. As the week drew to a close, I remember one night I was listening to a particular speaker that I liked (even though I had launched some of my criticism his way earlier in the week) and had this significant 'Eureka!' moment. His life was extraordinarily ordinary. In fact, it was actually extraordinarily difficult. He shared some very personal trials and other experiences I would never wish on my worst enemy. I also realized that the reason he (and many of the other speakers) seemed to have so many "dramatic" spiritual experiences and miracles in his life was because… wait for it … he was actually looking for those things among the small details of otherwise ordinary events of life and found in each of those events profound teaching moments that would ultimately deeply affect his life. This might be summed up in the words Alma to his son Helaman in the Book of Mormon (Alma 37:6-7):

Behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise. And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls.

I realized that I was no different than any of those speakers; that if I were willing to open my eyes and heart to the seemingly mundane things around me, I, too, could have amazing experiences and see miracles in my life every day. Since that night at Education Week I have tried to have a specific intention each day to look for and be grateful for the small and simple things – the ordinary miracles – that not only bring me happiness, joy, faith, hope, and love but give me the courage and strength to share those things with everyone around me. So yes, I love this song because it describes some of my favorite ordinary miracles that have given greater meaning to my life, and it encourages us all to continue discovering those miracles each day. As Sarah so beautifully expressed –

Life is like a gift they say
Wrapped up for you every day
Open up and find a way
To give some of your own love

When you wake up everyday
Please don't throw your dreams away
Hold them close to your heart
Cause we are all a part of the ordinary miracle


Thursday, October 8, 2015

Asthma, Priesthood Blessings, and Answered Prayers



About the third week of July this year I got a cold. My sleeping habits weren’t awesome, I’d been exposed to the cold virus earlier that week from others around me, and I hiked Lone Peak which pretty much took all my energy and left my immune system pretty depressed. The cold itself was surprisingly quite mild, but about four days into the cold I started coughing. That’s nothing new. If there is a possibility of coughing, it will happen to me! What I didn’t expect was that I’d still be coughing nearly three weeks later when I was scheduled to travel to Canada with my sister Amanda Ashton and her family (husband Curtis and 4 kids), so I thought it would be good to finally seek some medical advice.

I saw my pulmonologist a few days before leaving and got some antibiotics for a sinus infection, so I was positive that I would be out of the woods and finally done with the cough. Saturday, the night before we left for Canada, I was up all night coughing, barfing, gagging, dying. Not to overstate this, but I actually kind of wanted to die – understand that I was not going to do that to myself, but I just wanted my body to give it up because I was in an absolute state of misery. I called the hospital twice, first at 2:30am and again 4:30am, hoping to get help from the pulmonary doctor on call. According to the operator, my own doctor wanted to be the one they called. At 2:30 in the morning? I saw no reason to wake him up over a cough. (At this point I was too exhausted to recognize that this "cough" was actually a full-blown asthma attack and that I probably should have let the hospital call my doctor.) So by 6:30am Sunday morning I called a third time and finally asked to have my doctor call me back. Shortly thereafter I got a call, but it ended up being from the doctor on call after all that. He called in a prescription for me, which for some reason never came through by the time I left for Canada later that morning. I was still on the antibiotics so I was certain that even without that drug this whole cough thing would get better. Pipe dreams.

While in Canada the cough got super nasty to the point of major asthma attacks multiple times a day, barfing, coughing, no sleep, etc. It was pretty much not so fun at all. I wasn’t actually sick anymore, so I had a lot of energy and stamina to enjoy our activities so that was good, but the COUGH!! Ugh. During the next few days I stayed in constant communication with my doctor’s office but there wasn't anything they could do while l was out of the country short of encouraging me to keep up on the OTCs, and other things I could do without prescription drugs. (The drugs they needed to put me on were not of the kind that they could call in over a country border.) This was as frustrating for them as it was for me. I could have gone to a Canadian clinic or hospital but the paperwork and everything just didn’t seem worth it to me when I was going to be back in the US in a few days.

So fast-forward to the end of the week. Friday morning was our departure day with Helena as our planned destination for the night. Beginning at 6:30 that morning I was in full-blown asthma attack mode for about 90 minutes. I had no idea how to stop it or how it was going to be for us driving home. It somehow finally calmed down enough that I thought I’d for sure make it to Helena that night without a problem. As we traveled home we stopped at a park in Lethbridge, Canada for a little break. During that stop my cough had come back and gotten so bad that we almost just had to take me to the hospital. While I was in this park coughing my guts out for almost an hour straight Curtis was on the phone with my doctor’s office (I couldn't talk or even breathe enough to get in a word), but again, they couldn't do anything until we got to Helena that night.

It quickly became very clear to me that the only direct help (and life) line I had at that very moment was Heavenly Father. Unable to breathe and with tears running down my face I prayed and felt that it would be good to ask Curtis for a blessing. Curtis and Amanda were across the parking lot having the same discussion at that moment. So right there in the park Curtis offered a powerful blessing. It didn't make the cough go away, but it made it possible for me to bravely suppress it just enough for the next few hours in the car to finally get to Helena where the doctor had called in the really strong and important meds for me at the pharmacy by our hotel. FINALLY! Relief! I slept uninterrupted for the first time that night in over a week. It was a miracle! During our second day of travels home on Saturday I don’t think I coughed even once.

I returned to the doctor a few days after we returned from Canada and declared myself cured. Yay! But…yeah, not so fast. Within a week of that visit things started going downhill again. The asthma that I thought was getting better got totally out of control again. On a particular Wednesday, about 10 or so days after my latest visit to the doctor, the coughing and asthma got so bad that my co-workers thought I was going to die or had pneumonia or TB or something really terrible. I didn’t have any of the above, but you know, it wasn't really pleasant for them to hear me coughing and gagging like that. And it was no good for me. I had been thinking about contacting my doctor again, but I was just feeling kind of dumb at this point that I had been making so many visits to the doctor when I kept thinking I was all better, and that this would be the third time to his office in 4 weeks. However, after going through that work day on Wednesday I felt a very strong prompting that despite my pride or embarrassment or whatever, I needed to contact the doctor before his office closed for the day, so I quickly sent an email to the doctor to give an update on how things were going and see if there was something I should be doing differently. 

All that week leading up to that Wednesday as things got worse I'd been praying a lot asking Heavenly Father to help me to have the fullness of the healing blessings Curtis blessed me with back in Lethbridge. That Wednesday night I explained to Heavenly Father in my evening prayer that I had been doing all I could but that it obviously just wasn’t enough on my end, that I needed Him, and that I had faith that He could help me. I finally fell asleep without any further cough drama.

But then I woke up even worse at like 4:30am Thursday morning. I was again having a major asthma attack with non-stop coughing and barfing for 4 hours straight. Around 7:30am (too early to call the doctor’s office) and without any hesitation this time I immediately wrote my doctor back again and opened my message with "I think I'm in trouble." I explained what was happening even as I was writing that email. I further noted that I was on my way out of town in two days to visit family in Texas. I was so frustrated because I thought God wasn't really helping me after the blessing and the subsequent heartfelt prayers I’d been offering. After I finished my email to the doctor I even wrote down a little song for myself (apologies to Lambchop):

This is the cough that doesn't end
It just goes on and on my friend
Susannah started coughing and does not know what to do,
So she'll continue coughing on forever just because . . .

Well, about an hour after their office opened for the day, the doctor called me in immediately for breathing treatments, and then we talked a lot about what was going on and what to do about it. I may have had some hesitation to go see him on earlier occasions during the past few weeks, but I could not get into the office fast enough that morning. It was a really good visit. So I'm back on some pretty strong meds that are totally helping again, and I survived the hot humidity of Texas, which would NOT have happened without that visit to the doctor.

Another amazing thing happened during that visit. I learned that my doctor was leaving for Europe the next day. That information just stopped me in my tracks because I suddenly realized that it was a HUGE HUGE blessing that my health had deteriorated so badly that very day that I was basically compelled to contact him immediately without any hesitation, that I caught him right before he left for Europe, and that I was able to get the exact treatments and drugs I needed in order to get through the following week in Texas. I’ve been thinking about this even now many weeks later, that God WAS hearing me loud and clear the whole time. If I hadn’t been sick enough to contact my doctor, I would have been stuck in a really bad place with my doctor in Europe and me dying in Texas. So, um, yeah, I feel more than a little bad that I was being so impatient with God because he was exactly answering my prayers in the best way possible to help me get better.

So this story isn’t over yet, and maybe it won’t ever be. I returned for another visit to the doctor after he returned from Europe and I from Texas, and we have devised a long-term plan. He also gave me his home and cell number and then lectured me (in a kind but stern way) about not hesitating to call him even if it is 2:30am and that I should never let a night like what happened before I went to Canada go by like that again without calling him. He said that asthma attacks typically are the worst between the hours of 2:30 and 4:30am (Susannah: duly noted) and that as a pulmonologist he has willingly accepted those early morning wakeup calls as part of his job. He emphasized that people die from these things, and so he pretty much made me look him in the eye and promise that I would call if this ever happened again even in the early morning hours. So for now, thanks to being back on the strong drugs, the asthma is under control. The doctor would like me to have a whole year of this control, and I’m only weeks into that (maybe), so we shall see. But even with that uncertainty still hanging over me, I am certain that through the blessing Curtis gave me and my ongoing prayers God in His perfect wisdom has blessed me and will continue to bless me and my doctors as we work through this together now as a team – all of us, including God.

To conclude this post, I just want to share a really important truth I learned that day in Lethbridge: When all else fails, the power of the priesthood will never fail. It may not necessarily cure you, but it will help you get through whatever is going on until you can get the proper help you need, and those blessings really are eternal. The blessings that Curtis pronounced on me that day back in Lethbridge were definitely being realized this whole time, and still are, and the reality is that I will probably feel the effects of that blessing for the rest of my life. So I just have a huge testimony of that and am daily filled with so much gratitude that I was able to have Curtis help me. God really hears us, He perfectly knows every detail of our sicknesses and afflictions and whatever else is going on in our lives, and even when it doesn’t make sense or seem like it at the moment, He always knows the best way to help us.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Merry Christmas! 2014



Dear Family and Friends,

If I were to sum up this year in one word it would be “TRAVEL.” I have literally traveled coast to coast, ocean to ocean, and continent to continent. It’s no secret that I love to travel, but my adventures this past year have been especially fun and meaningful with each experience giving me great opportunities to connect with loved ones.

My year began with a last minute escape from dirty air and sub-freezing temps in Salt Lake City to Oahu to spend a week with my cousin Annmarie and her husband Ted and kids. This was my first time on Oahu, and while it was quite a different experience from Maui a few years ago, it did not disappoint. I was so grateful to finally see the WWII sites and memorials that remind us of the incredible sacrifice by many for our freedom. 

The USS Bowfin, Pearl Harbor
USS Arizona Memorial, Pearl Harbor
USS Arizona Memorial, Pearl Harbor 
USS Missouri, Pearl Harbor
Punchbowl Cemetery (National Cemetery of the Pacific)
It’s not an overstatement to say that spending some quality time at these sites was a life-changing experience for me, and I wish that everyone could have a chance to do the same. Other adventures that week included a hike up to the top of the Diamond Head crater, surf lessons (and yes, I had 3 good rides over a 2 hour lesson time), an outing to the Dole Plantation where we enjoyed that evil Dole Whip, a fun visit to the Polynesian Cultural Center, a little bit of beach time, and lots of family visiting time, which was wonderful.

Surf lessons on dry ground before hitting the water
Boogie boarding with Ted on Military Beach
Last picture with Annmarie before heading to the airport
A month later the majority of our huge family vacationed to southern California where we visited museums, the beach, and of course DISNEYLAND!! We had a wonderful week together.

My mom and sisters at the Getty Villa in Malibu
Getty Villa 
Beach time! Near Malibu, with Amanda and Curtis and Rhys
Christina leading our kids off to a tide pool
James Stewart grave at Forest Lawn, Glendale
California Screamin' with John
Space Mountain (my fav!) with John, Mary, Afton, and Phoebe
Radiator Springs Racers with Erin, Phoebe, Celia, Afton, and Miranda
Dave and Karin and their kids couldn’t join us on this trip, so they went to Disneyland two weeks later, and being the good aunt that I am, I just had to sacrifice a few more days at Disneyland. Life is rough. Mom and Dad also being awesome grandparents came along on this trip, too, which was great!

Looking into Karin's beautiful eyes
Grizzly River Rapids 
Our family (9 of us) filled the entire right side section of Hollywood Tower of Terror!
Splash Mountain with Dave and Karin
Final picture before heading home. Everyone feeling super happy!
Both of these trips were tons of fun as we spent important family time together and enjoyed good memories from past adventures here while creating many more.

In July I spent two weeks in Charlottesville, Virginia for training on government procurement contracts at the JAG University on UVA campus. I know it doesn't sound so exciting, but it was actually fantastic. I love Virginia so much, the training was the best I’ve ever had, and I absolutely loved meeting so many other government attorneys and spending those 2 weeks with them. Friends for life!




During the weekend between our two weeks of training I was able to take a quick trip up to Washington, DC to visit old favorites like the monuments and art gallery and see new sites like President Lincoln's Cottage (which everyone who visits DC must go see) and the MLK Memorial.


Lincoln Cottage 
MLK Memorial

I then headed up to Oakton, Virginia (just outside DC) to enjoy the rest of the weekend with cousins before heading back to Charlottesville.

Just two weeks after returning from Virginia, I was on my way overseas with Mom and Dad to attend the wedding of our dear friends in Switzerland, to see our other dear friends Germany, and to visit some ancestral sites in Denmark – this was my first (but hopefully not last) trip to Denmark, and it was amazing. It had been 20 years since I’d last been on the European continent, a time gap I regretted, but was so grateful that the places I had seen before were just as beautiful as I remembered and that I got to do a lot of new things I’d never done before. We were warmly greeted by all of our friends with hugs, kisses, and tears, and when it was time to leave we had similar farewells with promises to see each other again soon. I, for one, am not going to wait another 20 years to return. We had such a wonderful time reconnecting with old friends and making new ones during our 12 days in Europe.

Esther and Erich's wedding in Switzerland, with Mom and Dad, and our new friends Tony and Lori
Famous covered bridge in Luzern, Switzerland, with Mom
On the ferry crossing the Baltic Sea to Denmark, with Dad
Frederiksborg Slot (castle) in Hillerod, Denmark
With Dziallas family in Hamburg, Germany
Last picture with Dziallas family in Hamburg before flying home
So even when I’m not traveling, life is good. My work as an attorney for the Department of the Interior continues to be fulfilling each day, and I have also been able to run a lot this year without injury or rehab – Yay! – including completing 2 half marathons (both in cold pouring rain).


Thanksgiving Point 1/2 Marathon, April 2014
Huntsville 1/2 Marathon, September 2014
I was released as the Relief Society president in my LDS ward this past May after a little over 4 years of service. It was definitely bitter-sweet, but I am so grateful for the privilege I had to serve in that position and with the women who served with me, and I am likewise grateful for the wonderful women who now serve in those leadership positions. Since July, my new assignment is to teach the 8 and 9 year olds in the Primary, which has been great for me, and hopefully for them, too!

Finally, to end the year with a bang, I had my hair colored purple! (These pics are in the mirror, so they're backwards.)




As I reflect on this year and all the wonderful times I have had to spend with family and friends and to meet new friends I feel so grateful for all of you, near and far. I am grateful for this season and the opportunity to remember and celebrate the birth of the Savior who has given us the hope that we will be family and friends forever.

I think of you all often and wish you all the best this holiday and in 2015!

Love and Peace,
Susannah


Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Merry Christmas 2013!




Dear Family and Friends,

Merry Christmas to you all!

I love this season as the year comes to a close and gives us an opportunity to reflect on the last 12 months and look forward to the next 12 months. 


As you may have noticed, I have a somewhat unusual picture headlining this year's Christmas Card. It only took over 6 years from the time I first tried to train for a marathon in 2007 before being plagued with various injuries, illnesses and two surgeries to reconstruct the lateral ligaments in both ankles, but I can finally say that yes, I am a marathoner! 

This was the major focus of 2013 for me as I planned and prepared for, and eventually ran the Top of Utah Marathon on September 21, 2013, but with no sled! I really do admire those dogs! Haha! I have a lot of family, friends, health care providers, and even strangers who all supported and cheered me on and helped me to the finish line, so thank you to all who made this dream come true!

In addition to the Marathon, I also had a great opportunity to walk the Huntsville Half Marathon with Dad a week later on September 28, 2013. He did such a fantastic job (I was the one that was hobbling to the finish line!).


Another event from this year was my first trip to the Mayan Riviera on the Yucatan Peninsula in February. 

That was a great adventure and so fun to share with some of my family. 

In addition to these fun adventures, I am now in my 11th year at the Department of the Interior Solicitor's Office, and I continue to serve as the Relief Society President in my LDS ward. My greatest joy, however, has been the the time I've had to spend with my family. Through all these adventures this year I definitely had some intense personal and professional challenges, but those challenges, in turn, presented some great learning experiences and personal triumphs that were only possible through the Savior whose birth we celebrate and for whom I am eternally grateful.

And so, as yet another wonderful year closes and we look forward to a new year, I want to share this beautiful thought from Henry B. Eyring, who currently serves as First Counselor in the First Presidency of the LDS Church:


We can with confidence set a goal to make this Christmas brighter than the last and each year that follows brighter still. The trials of mortality may increase in intensity, yet for us, darkness need not increase if we focus our eyes more singly on the light that streams down on us as we follow the Master.
Love and peace and best wishes for a happy new year,
Susannah